Women’s pain is expected, part of the wallpaper of life. And we would have a lot fewer gun deaths. If we refused to accept the daily suffering of women and girls at the hands of men who claim to love them, we would have a federal policy removing guns from abusers, and we would ensure that it worked in practice.
But the core reality remains stark: it’s impossible to contain the suffering that stems from discounting and disbelieving women. That’s a complicated question, tangled up with gun politics and our failed criminal justice system. But almost always he practiced his violence on a woman long before he planned his massacre, and within a day of the slaughter we’re sharing this history with impotent grief, asking again and again, what will it take to take women’s lives seriously? If we took women’s lives seriously, if men who abused the women in their lives faced any kind of real consequences, would the people we are now preparing to bury be alive today?
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